100 Reasons Why I Love Movies

Posted: April 30, 2012 in Film, Lists, Quotes
Tags: , , , , ,

Frequent Badass Digest columnist Film Crit Hulk posted a simple, but brilliant article a while back that really resonated with me: why he loves movies. A retort of sorts to a fellow site contributors’ “Why I hate movies” post, it was a non-cynical dedication to his passion and mine, cinema. I felt I learned more about Hulk from that article than I have from reading dozens of his reviews and blogs (his stuff is worth a read if you can get past the ALL CAPS LOCK style). Several other bloggers and critics have done similar types of love letters to the motion picture, and I thought I would rip it off, too. Think of this more as a geek chain letter. I’m paying it forward; maybe some of you will do the same.

Why do I love movies? I love them…

Because of the emotions that stunning cinematography or a rousing score can evoke in me.
Because a century later, it’s still a wonderfully immersive (and relatively inexpensive) form of escapism.
Because I learned most cuss words from The Goonies.
Because of Alfred Hitchcock.
Because when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you’re gonna see some serious shit.
Because that ball in Phantasm scared the hell outta me.
Because I always recognize the Wilhelm Scream.
Because of Rick Baker.
Because of Stan Winston.
Because of Ray Harryhausen.
Because a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
Because of Godzilla’s roar.
Because Jaws really did make people afraid to go back in the water.
Because you maniacs! You blew it up!
Because of long takes.
Because all those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain.
Because of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walked into Rick’s.
Because this one goes up to 11.
Because of several timeless John Williams themes.
Because of Peter Sellers.
Because I have, and always will be, your friend.
Because of every line by R. Lee Ermy in Full Metal Jacket.
Because in a sea of shitty modern vampire films, I was still blown away by a little Swedish one.
Because of Chaplin’s speech in The Great Dictator.
Because I kick ass for the Lord!
Because every town has an Elm Street.
Because of the way Bill and Ted pronounce “Socrates” and “Beethoven.”
Because GORDON’S ALIVE!
Because in space no one can hear you scream.
Because beautiful babies don’t work midnight to six on a Wednesday. This is the skank shift.
Because of Buster Keaton.
Because yes, it’s true. This man has no dick.
Because without them, what the hell would I quote every 30 seconds?
Because we named the dog “Indiana.”
Because of Victor’s mini movie-within-a-movie in The Rules of Attraction.
Because you’ve got red on you.
Because dying ain’t much of a living, boy.
Because National Lampoon’s European Vacation was the first time I saw a boobie.
Because I now know why you cry.
Because of Crispin Glover’s dance in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter.
Because of Crispin Glover.
Because Tron fights for the users.
Because of Inigo Montoya and the man in black’s duel atop the Cliffs of Insanity.
Because you’ll shoot your eye out, kid.
Because of Reed Rothchild’s poem in Boogie Nights.
Because mobsters hate Nazis more than they hate the Rocketeer.
Because if it bleeds, we can kill it.
Because of the hula hoop sequence in The Hudsucker Proxy.
Because of Gremlins.
Because of glorious Gremlins knockoffs, like Munchies, Critters, and Ghoulies.
Because Ash replaced his right hand with a chainsaw.
Because she’s my Rushmore, Max.
Because of Bill fucking Murray.
Because I like to dissect girls. Did you know I’m utterly insane?
Because I don’t have to show you any stinking badges!
Because of George Melies.
Because of Dennis Hopper and Christopher Walken’s exchange in True Romance.
Because I gave her my heart; she gave me a pen.
Because Wolfman’s got nards!
Because Red took Andy’s advice, and got busy living.
Because Pheobe Cates took off her top, and jump-started my puberty.
Because Hal wouldn’t open the pod bay doors.
Because of Alan Rickman’s voice.
Because of Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino’s coffee scene in Heat.
Because we can’t stop here; this is bat country.
Because if nobody comes down here and buys a car in the next hour, I’m gonna club this baby seal.
Because of Roger Deakins.
Because I’m getting too old for this shit.
Because of Alec Baldwin’s speech in Glengarry Glen Ross.
Because I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubble gum.
Because of double entendre Bond girl names.
Because Walter doesn’t roll on Shabbas.
Because his wallet was the one that said “Bad Motherfucker” on it.
Because I’m your huckleberry.
Because they’re on a mission from God.
Because of the nearly dialogue-less final minutes of The Last of the Mohicans.
Because of George A. Remero.
Because of Basil Poledouris’ score for Conan the Barbarian.
Because Werner Herzog ate his shoe.
Because a handful of uncompromising gems still squeak out of play-it-safe Tinseltown each year.
Because of Anthony Michael Hall’s drunk scene in Weird Science.
Because the Warriors come to plaaaaay!
Because Terrence Malick can capture a shot so beautiful it makes you weep for the beauty of this earth.
Because Robin Hood speaks treason… “fluently.”
Because of Film Noir.
Because of every single song in Monty Python’s Life of Brian and The Meaning of Life.
Because the Joker made that pencil disappear.
Because you can’t fight in here! This is the war room!
Because of Charles Bronson.
Because I don’t know what the hell’s in there, but it’s weird and pissed off, whatever it is.
Because it wasn’t the airplanes. It was Beauty that killed the beast.
Because Nicolas Cage has given me so much joy.
Because the main guy of the story is a fat kid that nobody likes named Davie Hogan.
Because of John Hughes’ 80s films.
Because I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
Because it’s all in the reflexes.
Because of the hundreds of great films that aren’t yet made.
Because I’m going this weekend to see a real, long-dreamed-about superhero team-up movie.
Because they visualize our dreams.
Because they made me realize mine.

____________________

I could do this all day, but thought it best to round to an even hundred. I’m sure I’ll think of several glaring omissions by nightfall, but I’d say that’s a pretty good representation of the cinephile that is me.
Thank you for taking the time, folks. Hope you enjoyed reading it half as much as I did writing it.

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Comments
  1. Andrew McGlynn says:

    This was great. Even though I had to look a few of them up. 🙂

  2. love it! I knew about 80% of them. Had to look up the rest and add them to my must-watch-these-movies-before-I-die list.

  3. […] from churning them out, and it didn’t stop me either. My second-ever post here on State-Lines, 100 Reasons Why I Love Movies, went over pretty well, so in true Peter Jackson and/or George Lucas fashion, I thought I’d milk […]

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