100 *MORE* Reasons Why I Love Movies

Sequels. They’re never as good as the original (except when they are), but that doesn’t stop Hollywood from churning them out, and it didn’t stop me either. My original 100 Reasons Why I Love Movies post went over pretty well, so in true Peter Jackson and/or George Lucas fashion, I thought I’d milk it for all I could. As it turns out, I had a lot more than a hundred reasons why I am fond of film. Hopefully you’ll find this post less Highlander II and more Star Trek II. I present to you, 100 MORE Reasons Why I Love Movies:


Why do I love movies?
I love them…

Because of Magic Hour shots.
Because Han shot first.
Because Rolo Tomassi is the reason I became a cop.
Because each one of us is a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal.
Because Marcus gets lost in his own museum.
Because Keyser Soze showed those men of will what will really was.
Because of Beetlejuice’s “qualifications.”
Because of E.T.
Because of Reese’s Pieces.
Because the bad ones gave us ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000.’
Because a naked American man stole my balloons.
Because things don’t always go as planned, Mr. Angier. That’s the beauty of science.
Because I remember Sammy Jenkis.
Because there’s a peck with an acorn pointed at me!
Because without them, we might not have dozens of cheesy kick-ass pop songs.
Because of the opening sequence of Drive.
Because there are two kinds of people: those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.
Because I haven’t got time for this Mickey Mouse bullshit!
Because of Roger Corman.
Because you’re exactly as big as I let you be.
Because the 2nd rule of Fight Club is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!
Because of Paul Rudd in Wet Hot American Summer.
Because all every woman really wants, be it mother, senator, or nun, is some serious deep-dickin’.
Because there are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got heroin?
Because tequila is my lady! My lady!
Because Ellen Burstyn breaks my heart in Requiem for a Dream. Every single time.
Because Rudy’s been ready for this his whole life.
Because we have a Hulk.
Because 90 years later, The General is still hilarious, and absolutely remarkable.
Because of those incredible tracking shots in Children of Men.
Because the book says, “We might be through with the past, but the past ain’t through with us.”
Because there is no Dana; there is only Zuul.
Because I have something to say! It’s better to burn out than to fade away!
Because of Fritz Lang.
Because Josey Whales always doubles back for a friend.
Because you remind me of a babe.
Because of the exploding head symphony in Kingsman: The Secret Service.
Because of Danny Elfman’s many hummable themes.
Because Jules is a mushroom cloud-layin’ motherfucker, motherfucker!
Because of Spock’s difficulty with “colorful metaphors” in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.
Because the secret awaits eyes unclouded by ambition.
Because as far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.
Because Freddy Kreuger scared me shitless… and made a lifelong horror fan out of me.
Because Clarence must’ve thought it was White Boy Day.
Because of that hysterical reveal in Spaceballs.
Because of Mel Brooks.
Because I’m from Buenos Aires, and I say, “Kill ’em all!”
Because this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.
Because of Queen’s Highlander and Flash Gordon theme songs.
Because the Forbidden Zone was once a paradise. Your breed made a desert of it.
Because forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown.
Because if this thing blows up, the Feds will be the least of our problems.
Because of Quint’s USS Indianapolis speech.
Because what we’ve got here is… failure to communicate.
Because solving the following riddle will reveal the awful secret behind the universe.
Because Brick killed a guy!
Because the drunken commentary track on Cannibal: The Musical.
Because Glen could accidentally hurt himself falling on something real hard, like a shiv, or my dick.
Because of the French New Wave.
Because I love the smell of napalm on the morning.
Because of the killer, motivated lighting in Road To Perdition.
Because of Conrad Hall.
Because Gordy told that cheap dime store hood to suck his fat one.
Because of the Westerns that inspired the Easterns that inspired the Westerns.
Because of Richard Linklater’s ‘Before’ trilogy.
Because it looks like McCroskey picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
Because of the fictional ads in Paul Verhoeven’s flicks.
Because a talking monkey, yeah. Came here from the future. Ugly sucker; only says “ficus.”
Because of Brian Cox’s beautiful, gut-wrenching closing monologue in 25th Hour.
Because I’ve fallen for you like a blind roofer.
Because what a story it’ll make: “Shoeless Joe Jackson comes to Iowa.”
Because of the last ten minutes of Toy Story 3.
Because of the first ten minutes of Up.
Because that limey cocksucker, Karloff, can rot in hell for all I care!
Because of Ed Wood… the film and the filmmaker.
Because seeing Lawrence of Arabia on the big screen in 70mm is an experience like no other.
Because of that majestic cut in the aforementioned film.
Because of the Marx Brothers.
Because that’s my mother you’re pissing on.
Because “Like a Virgin” is not about this sensitive girl who meets a nice fella.
Because in the poker game of life, women are the rake, man.
Because of The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. Everything about it.
Because of Alyssa Milano’s… uh, “topless phase.”
Because what the hell’s a Jigawatt?
Because they taught me a lot about history, biology, and archaeology.
Because of the basement scene in Inglourious Basterds.
Because I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!
Because the cinema was the first place I kissed a girl.
Because the cinema was also the first place I felt up a–erm, you know what? Let’s move on…
Because of that kitchen fight in The Raid 2.
Because this piece is called “Lick My Love Pump.”
Because of James Horner, whose beautiful music elevated many films, and often, elevates me.
Because of Edgar Wright’s “Three Flavours” Cornetto trilogy.
Because of Kubrick’s attention to detail.
Because of the opening crane shot in Orson Welles’ Touch of Evil.
Because they can truly change people’s minds.
Because they’re one of the few things that can make me cry.
Because watching and creating them are two things I’d rather do than almost anything else.
Because they make us feel like “we’re home.”


So, yeah. I love movies.
As always, thanks for reading, gang.


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